Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
