I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just blew my weed a kiss
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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