I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
