I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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