Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is wine microwaveable?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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