one two three fourrrrnication!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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