Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
