Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
