We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
