u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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