I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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