Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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