Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
