How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
