the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
