You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
