i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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