yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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