Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
