I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
