where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
