their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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