We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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