Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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