if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
