we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
