when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
