So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
