yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
