I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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