i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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