their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
