Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
