Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
