I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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