My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
