if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
