You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
