It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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