i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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