from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
