Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
