let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
