i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
