We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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