Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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