I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
