just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm passing your future prison.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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