I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
