Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
