Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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