Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
